Let’s be outlaws, partners in crime

Let’s piss this country off by stepping out of the white lines

Let’s make a little more than noise when we open our mouths

Let’s make them acknowledge our voice

Until we are free in this land let’s stand and be brave

Let’s be outlaws even if they chase us to our graves

Let’s go out on a limb and lynch this oppression

Let us remind them that freedom doesn’t lie and equality doesn’t come in the form of blue collar professions

Let’s be outlaws and sing our own anthem

With fist held high and tight

Voices of the martyrs rise up for the fight

Let’s be outlaws and rebuild what they tore down

Oh say can you see it’s not time to back down

As when they slept peacefully till dawns early light

Our families planned our survival through the night

Therefore because of them I execute my right, I fight.

We Are One

You're like an unsheathed sword whose blade has countless nicks

It glistens with blood, encroached by rust

A half broken blade with a lethal crack

You give into fear unable to face your grief

You turn away from love in utter disbelief 

You'd rather die lonely in the cold

Than be refined by hammer under fire

You are but a days end away from being thin as wire 

You are one rain drop away from snapping in two

I was to be a sheath to you

to support, guard and be one with you

To let your jagged edges rest in my spirit

To be refined by the fire in my soul 

Forgive me for my absence

I fell at the wayside of pride

Shrouded in ego

Encumbered by unconscious paradigms

With the image of God created in me

I should have known the power of your femininity 

All that it is gave meaning to my masculinity 

For out of man you came to be

Now all of you lives inside of me

We are whole and complete and lacking nothing 

Having been made one in each other

We have become as lightning and thunder 

At the hand of love 

We are one because of the other

Faith 101 

God establishes your faith

You find yourself drawn into some church on some odd Sunday because one of your friends or family members “dragged” or “pressured” you to go. You say ok and you go expecting church to be what you’ve always heard about, full of acts and phonies. Some how though, the worship seems to move you and you’re having emotional responses that you suppress cause you don’t want anyone to see you. You make it through it without dropping a tear, go you! You sit there and the preacher begins speaking his message and you’re uncomfortable because what he’s saying is reflecting what your life is taking you through. You suspect your family or friend has told him you were coming and gave him some background on you but they are not giving you any indicators they have when he speaks on your life. You’re thinking “this is crazy! How does he know this?!” And you begin to listen attentively cause he’s telling you theres a solution to your suffering. He tells you about his good friend Jesus and how he can change your life for eternity. You like the notion that your life can change and you start desiring it, you hear that all you have to do is believe that his good friend died for you that he will be your good friend and take care of you. Your mustard seed gets planted and you say yes. Faith has been established! 

“So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭10:17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

You come to acceptance of that faith and you come again and again and you’re high on what God has been doing for you. You are now saved sanctified and filled with the Holy Ghost whoop whoop! No one can ever tell you God isn’t real, but there’s more! You have enrolled into the walk with Jesus Christ as his disciples had done and your lessons begin. God begins telling you to do things he wants you to do, they are hard and you don’t want to do them because they make you uncomfortable and you begin to wonder where that blissful time in God has gone where things just worked. Suddenly something happens that may hurt your feelings and you say “God why did you let that happen to me? Are you real? I thought you were supposed to protect me and make my life better?” 

God challenges your faith

If everything were to be fixed in your life and you were to have no more problems in your life would you really appreciate what God has given you? Would you stop sinning and actually be righteous and upright? Or would you take advantage of Gods gift and do what you wanted to do? Would you take his gift and only love yourself with it? He knows you’ll forget what he brought you out of so he sends you reminders of your weakness and his strength. Those reminders are always hard and just what you need to grow in him. He wants you to accept them and remember he loves you.

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.“But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”

‭‭‭James‬ ‭1:2-4 ‭NKJV‬‬

Just like any teacher God assigns tests, but God isn’t like any teacher we know. He has a specific lesson plan made for each of us, that means your lessons may be more difficult (looking) than someone else’s. The lessons are meant to attack your weaknesses so that the enemy cannot defeat you with them. Healing your brokenness is that patience having its perfect work. You have to go through these trials to eliminate the strongholds the devil has established in you. Don’t resist God and give yourself over to the enemy because you want to feel good all the time. 

God builds your faith 

Once you understand the purposes of Gods trials you begin to recognize how faith operates, you start to understand that faith has to grow in you from that little seed of faith to a fruit bearing tree of faith but you have to water it right? You have to have faith in the little things of your life. Say you want a job, you pray that God gives it to you, you apply, you say “God is gonna let me have it”, you don’t get the job. Has God forsaken you? Has your faith failed? No! You pour more water on that seed. “I’m believing God has something better for me so I’ll keep praying and keep applying”. We don’t have a clue what God is doing but we must trust his timing and when he does deliver you’ll look back on that job you thought was for you and thank him that he didn’t give it to you because of how great the real blessing is. 

“For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.””

‭‭Romans‬ ‭1:17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

And you are transformed by your faith in God
After believing, being tested, and growing by those tests you learn to question less and follow more. God has proven himself to you time and time again so you have confidence in him more than you ever had before. You worry less, you are comfortable in times of strife, and you’re full of joy when the rest of the world says you should be messed up with sadness. You know for certain God will use anything to move you forward. All those time you saw an end God opened a door that no man could close, you know just how weak you are and understand the duality of yourself. Your life is really changed. Your mind is really changed. You notice and other people notice as well. 

“Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭5:1-5‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

What God has done he will continue to do and we all must fight to get to that place of peace in God. Even in writing this I realize how far away I am from being a fully grown tree in Christ. Trusting God is by no means an easy task but continuing to walk with him will make it easier. Remembering where we started should be reassurance enough to know that we are different because of him. Remembering those things should be motivation enough to tell someone about him. Sometimes we get caught up in the feelings of not being good enough when we fail but fail to realize the success God has had even in our failures. He knows and understands fully what we are going through and that’s why He never forsakes us. Whoever believes is going to be made whole, so remember what God has done and just keep going. 

Commit To Being A Man

Commitment- “Sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose”. A man has to blatantly walk in the shoes of his responsibility, he has to commit to the role of manhood, and constantly sacrifice himself with discernment. He must understand that he will be tempted therefore he must wield restraint. This commitment is not of convenience, not in pursuit to be good, but of desperate desire to be great.

This commitment is a prerequisite to all the fundamental things to come in his life. Before he is a husband he must first be a man, before he is a father he must first be a man, before he is chosen to lead he must first be a man and you learn to be a man by following one, there are no shortcuts. He must learn to accept his mistakes and learn from them, he must learn to be wronged and yet forgive, he must learn to love and be satisfied when it’s not returned. His commitment must be long-suffering.

A man, next to god, is his own deliverer from his own folly. A man who disregards the things that are right seals his own fate into stagnation. His decision to pursue true manhood guarantees His freedom into wisdom. He has to be committed to himself, he has to commit to being a man.

A man isn’t defined by his wealth, his sexual conquests, or even his abilities. A man becomes a man when he submits himself under the proper authority. A man is disciplined and seeks counsel, a man exhibits humility and patience, he is not a servant of himself but a servant of Gods will. The commitment in this requires faith of the highest degree and cannot be swayed by the stresses of his life. A man is a leader not a tyrant who imposes his will onto others, but a man who lives for others and what is just.

Thank you 2014 but GOODBYE!

Wow, its already mid December anddirection I can’t say I’m sad about it. This year has been the most difficult, crazy, heartbreaking, most exciting year of my life. I’ve learned more about me in the last 12 months than I have in my whole 26 years of living, mostly because of a tremendous fall I had to take and the difficult climb to make it back to sanity. 2014 began with heartbreak. The kind where you lose yourself trying to figure out what the fuck just happened, blindsided by your own trust and life had no safety net for you. THAT KIND!

Needless to say I recovered! I got responsible, the strength I took from that experience made me a whole new man. All things do work together for the good to them that love god. I got focused and began writing again, I got back in school, and surprisingly I was asked to be the leader of the mens group at my church. I started studying the word of god more and I’ve been learning more and more about what being a man of god really means. To be excited about responsibility, commitment, and love. To expect that this world is designed to test and temp me in the areas that I am weakest  so I have to guard myself accordingly. I stopped “Turning up” as much and I got in the gym. taking better care of my body became very important to me as well as a stress reliever.

My desire to live a purposeful life grew into joy and I became committed to that. I discovered that finding myself required me to give more of what I already possessed and not keep it in. The hardest part about that was being able to admit when I had an emotional response to something that upset me. I’ve always been the indestructible nothing could hurt me type of person B-Epiphanyand I knew more than anyone that wasn’t true. I tried to find the easiest ways to express those negative emotions until I had to just say F#*k it and just say it raw. Freedom came with that kind of openness because I no longer had to lie to myself or anyone else by saying “I’m fine”. I couldn’t live like that and say I’m committed to growth, it’s difficult but its making me better.

The thing I have to say I’ve despised about 2014 is the dating life! its like I have been in a coma and come out to discover relationships have been broken down into sex, food, and money. chivalry isn’t dead but it sure is in critical condition, so much so that if you are even half-decent your motives are highly questionable because people are so accustomed to the relationship goal of laying in a bed full of tax money. No one speaks of marriage or having found someone they are comfortable being vulnerable with. Relationships have become a game of who can last longer without being the one to blame when shit hits the fan. I am not about that life.

2014 has been very much hated and appreciated. I am grateful to still be alive, to still have the opportunity to get closer to my true self, and to still have a heart made for loving. I’ll be taking my lessons into 2015 and leaving the other baggage in 2014 where it was made. Thank you 2014 but GOODBYE!!

let-go

Commit to Being a Man

20140110-095028.jpg

Commitment- “Sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose”. A man has to blatantly walk in the shoes of his responsibility, he has to commit to the role of manhood, and constantly sacrifice himself with discernment. He must understand that he will be tempted therefore he must wield restraint. This commitment is not of convenience, not in pursuit to be good, but of desperate desire to be great.

This commitment is a prerequisite to all the fundamental things to come in his life. Before he is a husband he must first be a man, before he is a father he must first be a man, before he is chosen to lead he must first be a man and you learn to be a man by following one, there are no shortcuts. He must learn to accept his mistakes and learn from them, he must learn to be wronged and yet forgive, he must learn to love and be satisfied when it’s not returned. His commitment must be long-suffering.

A man, next to god, is his own deliverer from his own folly. A man who disregards the things that are right seals his own fate into stagnation. His decision to pursue true manhood guarantees His freedom into wisdom. He has to be committed to himself, he has to commit to being a man.

A man isn’t defined by his wealth, his sexual conquests, or even his abilities. A man becomes a man when he submits himself under the proper authority. A man is disciplined and seeks counsel, a man exhibits humility and patience, he is not a servant of himself but a servant of Gods will. The commitment in this requires faith of the highest degree and cannot be swayed by the stresses of his life. A man is a leader not a tyrant who imposes his will onto others, but a man who lives for others and what is just.