It’s truly a shame how a boy is raised so incomplete. So ill-equipped to deal with the true trials of life. He isn’t raised to be a man of valiant character who is wise, understanding, or patient. He’s taught to seek pleasure, dominance and material stature. He’s taught that he must first be given in order to give. Not to forgive but seek vindication. He’s taught that knowledge makes him an outcast but having many women makes him more manly and worth something. He’s not taught to be a father, a trustworthy friend, or even a husband but a hustler, a fashion statement and a trendsetter. He grows into a lost man-child with walls placed around his vulnerability. His capacity to overcome his pride is diminished significantly because it’s been strengthened his whole life. His manhood lost in the deceptions of other broken men who were blinded by broken examples.
We nurture superficial qualities in our boys and expect them to meet standards that they aren’t equipped for. We tell them that crying and emotional expression is for girls and thus reinforce silent resentment and repression. We teach them to be obstinate, to be angry and disobedient to authority, and to surreptitiously betray the women who love them. They spend their lives fixated on proving their fruitless manhood because deep down inside of them is a void they are unconscious of.
The spirit of a man lives within all our boys but it’s starved and left emaciated and powerless. It calls out to them at every waking moment but it’s voice is but a subtle whisper distorted by the loud cries of a child seeking instant gratification. With no one to nurture the man in him he never learns to control his sensuous, carnal desires. He grows into an impulsive, prideful, and incorrigible force of destruction. The man in him still starving, dying and pleading for an opportunity to bring him peace and joy.
A boy only grows into a man once he finds an example of one. Once he witnesses for himself a different choice for his life, once something or someone begins to speak life into the man in him. It feels as though he is reborn, that cry that once was so loud becomes silenced and the voice of the man in him is recognizable. Responsibility, honor, character, and integrity become valuable and exciting to him. He’s no longer the angry child he once was but a man of a confident countenance.
The mission for manhood in our black men is not just a personal mission, it’s also a mission of brotherhood. Those who have achieved the enlightenment of manhood are responsible to enlighten those who are still blinded by the same struggle they overcame. Like the old saying goes “it takes a village to raise a child” it takes a man to show a boy how to be a man. To correct his brother when he is wrong and to be a constant figure of positive influence. Black men must take up the call for manhood and be true to their natural ability to lead. It’s not a mission that will always have a personal reward but a mission that rewards the generations to come.
What have we done? Why have all the things that truly matter been thrown out of our hearts and trampled underfoot like trash in the ghetto? Our men are fruitless. Destroyed by the love of money and dragged along by the lusts of society. Gilded, emotional, depthless, and lazy. Their manhood whimsical at best, entertaining an audience of fools alike. A population of victims who hold no accountability for nothing other than conquering the latest woman blinded by naivety and their own selfish endeavors. Ashamed to claim anything of value, to be a father who provides and protects, to hold a legitimate job, or even speak the correct form of his language. I ask again what have we done?
Why are our men throwing their crowns to the ground? How much more beneficial is it to lift someone up rather than tear them down?
How can a man behave like a beast and kill his brother? Shatter the precious jewel that is his sister? How can he leave his child barren and roadless?
Have we not been handed everything?
Our women are turmoiled. They fear our men, their lack of leadership, and their blatant denial of responsibility. Carrying the complete weight of life on their backs with no one to share it with. Created to be loved and cared for as companions but our men pit them against each other and defile their very nature. They themselves destroy each other by denying the source of their anguish and blame each other. Their perceptions of a good and suitable man warped and twisted by the same lusts that defeat our men. Allowing themselves to be spectacles of sexual desires, emulating men, and perpetuating this devastating cycle.
This generation was born with rights our predecessors fought and died for and we disrespect their efforts. We were handed a life they hoped for and we refuse to live it. We have abandoned their paths and are stumbling down a road of destruction. We are faithless, depthless, ignorant, prideful, reckless and above all ungrateful. There are few things worse than death this is one.
The bitter consequences of
a love unrequited spawn the cold resentments resonating the chorus of destruction
The fatal blow manifests in romancing infidelity
advancing immature relations whisper
pain and distrust corrupt the depths of ones vulnerability
Constantly filling the cracks of broken hearts with pitiful fallacies
The substance of emotional inequity linger dreadfully
Reality perverted by strange complexities masquerading love
Inhibit the ability to function fearlessly
Defeat cascades upon your body as violently as fire engulfs a dead tree
A plea to be released from the torment of false charity
Denying the evidence you wish you ought not have seen
Now everything seems much harder to believe
Now all you do seems to leave you more empty
Longing for what seems lost
Accosted by insecurity
Irrational doubt plays its hand
An enigma surreptitiously searching
To corrupt and decay
After all is said and done the black rose is all that remains
It isn’t with your words that I know you love me
But in the depths of your eyes I see the true story
Reflections of synonymous love
The shine in your smile whispers tenderly
its not the tone of your voice that I know your desires for me
But in the caress of your hands I hear you confess to me
Give to me generously the warmth of your touch
Even if just a little it would be just enough
It’s in the sashay of your hips and the subtle bite of your lips where I hear your sweet nothings
I’m embraced by your sensualities and comforted within your arms
It’s the way you kiss me I hear you tell me how much you’ve missed me
The time passes by when your lips are connected to me
It’s in the times when you wrap your legs around me that I know
I am yours and you’d hate to be without
Its the arch in your back and the sting in your scratch
The gaze in your eyes and the squeeze of your thighs
Intertwined in the wiles of your femininity
There is no time it feels like eternity
Internally I’m shocked by your electricity
This chemistry has bonded us mysteriously
It never was the things you said to me
But your eccentricities that captivated me
Love intrinsically soulful intimacy
It’s the body you use to speak to me
A love language no others possess
Not quite lust just less than sex
a love language of flesh to flesh
Your body language brings me rest.
Commitment- “Sincere and steadfast fixity of purpose”. A man has to blatantly walk in the shoes of his responsibility, he has to commit to the role of manhood, and constantly sacrifice himself with discernment. He must understand that he will be tempted therefore he must wield restraint. This commitment is not of convenience, not in pursuit to be good, but of desperate desire to be great.
This commitment is a prerequisite to all the fundamental things to come in his life. Before he is a husband he must first be a man, before he is a father he must first be a man, before he is chosen to lead he must first be a man and you learn to be a man by following one, there are no shortcuts. He must learn to accept his mistakes and learn from them, he must learn to be wronged and yet forgive, he must learn to love and be satisfied when it’s not returned. His commitment must be long-suffering.
A man, next to god, is his own deliverer from his own folly. A man who disregards the things that are right seals his own fate into stagnation. His decision to pursue true manhood guarantees His freedom into wisdom. He has to be committed to himself, he has to commit to being a man.
A man isn’t defined by his wealth, his sexual conquests, or even his abilities. A man becomes a man when he submits himself under the proper authority. A man is disciplined and seeks counsel, a man exhibits humility and patience, he is not a servant of himself but a servant of Gods will. The commitment in this requires faith of the highest degree and cannot be swayed by the stresses of his life. A man is a leader not a tyrant who imposes his will onto others, but a man who lives for others and what is just.