If you are humble in your relationship your mistakes will eventually bring you wisdom and your temporary discomforts will eventually make you more patient. Life is matter of perception and a humble mind knows that perfection isn’t real to us, it’s a deception that causes us to feel inadequate despite our insatiable desire and effort to feel fulfilled. A strong mind gains the capacity to perceive discomfort differently and our feelings towards it begin to change. We begin to learn to resolve things in healthier ways.
Truth be told, the majority of our pain comes from people who are close to us or those we want to be close to. How we choose to handle that weight depends on our ability to balance how we think with how we feel. How we think must be able to match the weight of whatever level of emotion we experience. Strength of mind considers; “is the way I feel more important to me than my relationship?”, “Do I believe that was done intentionally to hurt me?”, “why am I offended?”. My dad always told me “Anger lies at the end of a mans ability to reason”. Weaker minds fall into anger and resentment. They begin to feel they are owed recompense for their discomfort.
“Tis the business of little minds to shrink, but he whose heart is firm and whose conscience approves his conduct will pursue his principles unto death” – Thomas Paine
The principle of humility reminds us that everyone deserves grace and mercy. Possessing the understanding that although you may not make the same mistakes as someone else, you make your own, so compassionate, empathetic love is always necessary. In our relationships we must always position our pride in places of productivity because pride will always tell us that we are the most important piece and we deserve to be regarded in the highest esteem. We must keep a sense of pride in ourselves yet not be prideful to the point where we diminish the value of our counterparts in our relationships. Having a firm grasp of what humility does for relationships helps maintain the health and promotes growth in our relationships.
Too often in relationships we surrender ourselves to hypocrisy. We engage in things that we’d otherwise police if it were our partners doing them. We become the humblers instead of the humble. We become enforcers instead of partners because we put ourselves, our feelings, our expectations over our partners and our relationships. When how we feel outweighs our ability to reason we lose the equality and begin to desire compensation for those bad feelings.
Being conscious of the equality of our partners allows us to resolve the conflicts in our relationships in ways that allow both to feel heard and understood. It opens our minds to be considerate of our partners perceptions and causes us to challenge our own to find the best resolution for our relationships. We learn to understand the stress of that discomfort promotes growth when we exercise our humility. Instead of assigning fault we begin to actually listen to how our partners feel and why they feel what they feel. When can dispel any misunderstanding, clarify the intent of each other’s actions, and ultimately learn our partners more intimately. We learn that love can be present in comfort and in stress as long as both halves remain equal. Humility invites that equality.