He Who Finds

What is it that’s making dating so damn difficult these days? It’s as if this generation has never seen a successful relationship and all it knows how to do is satisfy selfish endeavors. It’s almost narcissistic how much this generation cares so much for itself. It’s gotten so bad I’m questioning if my brothers know just how much of the dating responsibility lies within their hands. The kind of example we have to display and the expectations that we men need to live up to are necessary for our women to feel provided for and protected.

For those of us who believe in Jesus Christ I’ll be using Proverbs 18:22 as a reference point. It says “HE who FINDS a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the lord”. There is not only a promise attached to obtaining a wife but there is some work to be done to receive it. The word “find” can be defined as “to obtain by effort or management, to discover by intellect or feeling”. What kind of effort are we (men) putting in to discover a worthy mate? How are we managing our lives to be considered a proper man worthy of a forever? By what form of intellect and intuition are we using to discern what is “good” for us? Take a second to think about it.

Ladies, how are you preparing yourself? Are you ready to be someone’s good thing? While you’re equipping yourself with the adequate defenses against the adversaries that maliciously seek your queenship are you also seeking the ability to allow yourself to be loved the way God intended? Understand that this good thing you possess also needs to be matured. You are also a gift that has to be earned, remember that.

Men, before you go finding your wife you must find yourself and also understand that there lies reflection of you with the acquiring of a partner. Choose wisely, endeavor to satisfy your spirit and soul before you satisfy your body. Strengthen your character, protect your integrity, and make the right decisions for your future. You are important in ways you may not completely understand yet. You are a shield of protection to whatever woman you give your life to. Her trust, her vulnerability, her unique preciousness are what you are required to protect. Those cracks from her heart break, the scars left behind from someone taking from her love are where you stand guard.
You are to be able to provide the safe place, the sense of security, and the leadership that a family will require.
The bible gives specific instructions on how we should treat our S/O..

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭5‬:‭25-28‬ NIV)”

Our women were designed beautifully and specifically for us. Created in such a way that we would receive just by giving ourselves. The responsibility is ours. To be that man you have to want it, to be willing to put the necessary work in to grow that fruitful relationship. To seek out the things in a woman no ones bothered to find, to learn to understand what it means to be that protection and provision, and also be willing to allow that woman to give the same love back “HER WAY”. You need life spoken into you as well. It’s a part of that good thing and that favor.

Dating isn’t about the dates, the sex, the gifts or the photos and cute stuff. It’s about finding yourself in another person and being able to surrender to each other. To learn intimacy and to learn to give love, it isn’t to get for yourself.

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