I surrendered myself because my heart was broken
I wasn’t wise enough to understand that tangible bliss would deceive me
So I began to love something that
Contained immeasurable impurity
I carried the fractured pieces of my heart like blurred memories
Each one contained remnants of some dreadful treachery
I often held them up to the sun to reminisce in the moments where I was armored in manhood for the sake of another’s nothings
I tarried in their somber melodies
Disappearing in the shadows of soul binding melancholy
Daily I’d lay my heart down and whisper a thousand apologies because
I took the power of love and failed to live its responsibility
Fully aware the wounds will heal but reminded by the scars for eternity
I live with one regret
That I was just another casualty
If you plant or allow to be planted a seed of love in someone’s or your own heart that seed will live as long as it is fed. It will grow and produce fruit and like any fruit bearing tree but there is a season where those fruit will not be available to eat. That tree isn’t dead and you should not uproot and plant somewhere else. It means that the tree is conserving it’s energy for the winter so that it expands it’s life. Only for a short time will it not have leaves or bear any fruit. So Grow where your love is planted, allow your love to expand its life by enduring through the winter
Our relationships are fruit bearing trees. Each person has a seed of love that gets planted and each moment is a nurturing moment for that seed. Our affections, time, our willingness to give our trust to another person. All these things contribute to the growth and preservation of our tree. A relationship has seasons as well. Spring, summer, fall, and winter; each comes with their own unique experiences.
Spring; the time of blossoming love. The time you watch that small bud open up into something magnificent. Its perfect, flawless, and it feels as tho it’ll never change. Each day it opens up a little more and gets a little more spectacular and it’s blissful. It’s young, new and vibrant and it’s everything you’d hoped it could be. You see no other tree, you want no other fruit.
Summer; the time where love reaches the heavens. It gives you sweet, delectable fruit, ripe and pleasing in every way. You visit and spend time under the shade of this tree, you take comfortable afternoon naps, and there is no peace like this place. It becomes your favorite place. You open up to it as it has for you. Your tree becomes a part of who you are.
Fall; love begins to stop giving you it’s fruits. It’s leaves show you different colors and they begin to drop to the ground. The colors are unique and consistently changing, dying it seems. It no longer provides for you and doesn’t look as beautiful as it once did. It takes nearly everything away but it’s presence and a shell of what it once was.
Winter; loves conservation time. It’s dry and quiet, distant in fact. It lets you do nothing to change the state it’s in. It tests your loyalty, patience, and faith that it will once again give you what it once did. It does not budge, it only stands there ignoring you and what you think it should be. It sleeps but it remains. You’ll see other trees with their leaves just as green as they were in the spring, summer, and even fall. Those trees can’t feed you their life, but they live. Your tree still stands barren and it angers you, treats you as though you never loved it and it never loved you but it still stands there proud and arrogant. You feel abandoned, you question if you caused it to take it all away, you begin to doubt, and want to give up on it. Do you?
Love takes each relationship on a journey. It’s perfect, we aren’t. It requires us to wait on it and it rewards us in seasons. It teaches us the things that allow us to appreciate it, it rewards us for being faithful and patient. We often blame love when our trees die but love doesn’t leave, we do! In times of winter when OUR wants aren’t being met, when love needs to conserve so that we can learn and grow. We can’t shed our leaves and stand as a tree. Quiet and perseverant. Committed, devoted, and unyielding like a tree we should stand. Love doesn’t leave, we do!
I knew she was a queen from the moment my eyes rested in hers
The ocean of intense flames burned deep and steadfast in her soul
Her gaze laid siege upon the walls of my castle
Burning down defenses I’d well enforced long before that moment
I knew she was aware of what she’d began
She smiled a dangerous smile
One that set me aflame
from then I was defenseless and all that I owned belonged to her
A prisoner in my own castle
Enchanted by something much more than just a woman
Her prowess of femininity she wore like a crown
Confidence adorned her like silk
She gave me a peaceful vulnerability
And as aggressive as she came her touch was more than friendly
I knew that day she existed for me
She spoke compassion into my ears
She flowed like water in my dreams
She became a strength where I was weak
She never came to dethrone a king
She became my castle to dwell and reign
She was crowed queen of this king
To forever rule and live beside me.